Things I Missed

I've been playing catch up with the news, and I thought I'd pass along a handful of topics that I didn't see the first time they came around.

* Last week Attorney General Alberto Gonzales told Wolf Blitzer that he didn't know whether his grandparents came into the United States legally or not. His exact quote, which you can see in transcript or on video at Crooks & Liars, was: "You know, it's unclear. It's unclear. And I've looked at this issue, I've talked to my parents about it, and it's just not clear." It's only two generations back. If it's 8unclear, it's only because certain people don't want it to be clear. My parents brought me to the States from Canada when I was two, and it's very clear how we came in. Each person in my family still has the paperwork we needed to cross the border and come to live in the country. Three of my grandparents came from England or Ireland to the U.S. or Canada, and it's clear whether they followed the rules in coming in. My great-grandfather, who was an older man when he came to Canada from Belfast, had worked his whole life in the shipyards there. He was a boilermaker (he worked on the boilers for the Titanic), and he had what we'd probably recognize as carpal tunnel from holding his hammer. He knew that Canadian immigration might not allow him in the country if his health was suspect (U.S. authorities had similar policies), and he was concerned that his gnarled hand might be enough to refuse him entry, so he put everything he had into straightening it out and firmly shaking the hand of the customs officer. It's become family lore that the officer's response was, "Sir, we're proud to welcome anyone with a handclasp like that." I don't know how many families have stories like that, but I bet they're not hard to find among families whose ancestors gave up their lives in their homelands to come to a new land within the last couple of generations. An immigrant's legal status is only unclear if it's being left purposely fuzzy.

* General Michael Hayden's nomination to head the CIA in the wake of Porter Goss was approved by the Senate Intelligence Committee last week and will be voted on by the full Senate soon. Hayden was in charge of the NSA when that agency began running roughshod over our rights by keeping track of our phone calls. Joe Conason, a reliable voice for progressive positions, argued in Salon on Friday that Hayden deserved to get the CIA job.

Unlike so many of the hacks placed in charge of important government agencies during the past six years, Hayden possesses powerful qualifications for the job. He is also wise enough to treat the Senate with respect. He isn't trying to push his way through with bluster and bullying.

By the admittedly dismal standards of the Bush administration, then, Hayden is an unusually good appointment. To reject him will only encourage Bush to send up more awful nominees -- and that would be counterproductive, since, despite his pathetically low approval ratings, Bush is almost certain to remain president for nearly three more years.

* I don't know whether you clicked on either of those previous stories, but this one is definitely worth it. Yesterday morning The Washington Post printed a love letter the Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. Its amateurism would even be out of place in a high school newspaper. Here's a taste:

[Frist] climbed into the back of his black SUV; his driver steered toward the zoo. "I gravitate towards insurmountable problems," Frist said, his long legs spilling between the front seats. "I try to use creative solutions." One day, he hopes to cure AIDS or cancer. He sucked on the stem of his glasses: "The typical person around here may not understand."

. . .
He pressed his stethoscope to the gorilla's chest and narrowed his eyes. Kuja, a silverback patriarch, was breathing isofluorine. He was the Senate majority leader of the gorillas, who negotiated disputes, back-slapped the ape boys and owned exclusive mating rights with the females. When Kuja started to stir, a veterinarian injected more anesthesia. One backhanded swipe could break Frist's neck.

Frist listened to the heart; the gorilla's lub-dub sounded human. "When you're this close, you feel this kind of oneness with them," Frist said. The stink of ape sweat and gorilla testosterone soaked his hair and clothes. "Gorillas, people, men. You look at the people here, a symphonic flow of people pitching in. It's the oneness of humanity."

This kind of oneness does not come easily to Frist. Though devoted to matters of the heart, Frist acknowledges that he is aloof, something he traces back to the day he refused to attend kindergarten. He calls it "the Great Wall," an emotional barrier that has kept him from having close friends. It is a wall that could block his connection with voters, some say, and his way to the White House.

But in the operating room there were no walls, only bridges, as one arm reached over another.

Elsewhere in the article, a veterinary dentist compares Frist to Superman. This is hilarious, hilarious stuff. In case you haven't had enough, John Aravosis provides an elegant takedown for your reading pleasure.