Talk Talk Talk Talk Talk Myself to Death: WWJA?

Monday, August 22, 2005


Who Would Jesus Assassinate? Pat Robertson apparently thinks it's Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela. Chavez has been popularly elected to that post twice in general elections (in 1998 and 2000), and he survived a separate referendum intended to remove him from office a year ago. After being toppled in a 2002 coup, he returned to power two days later. So he's hard to get rid of, and he's on the record with his belief that that's exactly what the U.S. is trying to do.

According to Media Matters, today on The 700 Club Robertson called Chavez "a terrific danger." He further claimed that Chavez "has destroyed the Venezuelan economy, and he's going to make that a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent." (Communism and Muslim extremism--as Afghanistan proved in the '80s, those are two great tastes that taste great together.) Perhaps Robertson's key sentence was, "And without question, this is a dangerous enemy to our south, controlling a huge pool of oil, that could hurt us very badly." Oh, that's right, Venezuela has oil.

So what can we do about this? Back to Pat:

You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war.

Now they think about cost effectiveness. But wait, there's more:

We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.

So now that we've answered WWJA, the only question left is WIJFHM? Who Is Jesus' Favorite Hit Man?


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