Changing the Subject

Today is New Hampshire day, when the first actual votes will be cast in the 2008 presidential election (still ten months away, by the way). The first votes have been counted--all 46 of them, and Obama and McCain have taken early leads (although Obama's is more secure than McCain's). Turnout is huge, according to ABC, and there's some concern that Democrats will run out of ballots. Turnout is what worked for Obama in Iowa, so maybe his results here will be even bigger than anybody's been predicting. But we won't actually have any further vote counts until this evening, so let's talk about something else.

The most annoying TV commercial these days comes from U.S. Cellular. I looked but couldn't find a copy of it online, so I'll just have to describe it to you. It starts off well enough--a young woman tells us she was worried about going off to college because she didn't want to leave her dad alone. This is understandable enough, but then she tells us why: He never learned how to read. We never learn why, if there is a disability of any sort or any kind of valid reason why the father is illiterate. No, the implication is that he just never got around to learning. This woman is going to college--she apparently learned how to read! Why could she not just pass that information on to her father? Or maybe he could take an adult education class or something. Instead of some sort of responsible action, the daughter would rather just go off to college and worry.

Fortunately, she didn't have to worry for very long. Her dad took a bill into U. S. Cellular, and the salesperson there was very patient in explaining it. She was so patient, in fact, that now that father takes all his letters and bills to the woman at U. S. Cellular so she can read them to him. Once again, the poor man is surrounded by enablers rather than responsible people who will help him improve himself.

When I first saw this ad, I thought it was ridiculous, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it was actually quite clever. In fact, I'm considering changing my cell phone to U. S. Cellular to see if I can get them to help me out in a similar way. Maybe they could balance my checkbook, or I might be able to convince them to come over and wash my dishes. Oh, sure, I know how to do those tasks for myself, but they're chores I hate, and I'm a busy man.

U. S. Cellular, your codependent phone company. What annoying tasks of daily life could they take off your plate?