Child's Play

With Christmas coming up, it's probably not too early to start taking a look at some toys. (Not too early? With eight shopping days left, I'd say no, it's not.) I just saw a commercial for Itsy-Bitsy Spider-Man, a plush toy that sings and dances to "Itsy-Bitsy Spider." Here's the sell copy:

He talks, dances, even sings! This friendly plush, electronic Spider-Man figure is ready to boogie! Press his left foot and he sings and dances to the "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" song! Press his right foot and he moves and grooves while singing the Spider-Man & Friends theme song! He even says fun phrases like, "Would you like to have some fun?" and "C'mon, let's do it again!" A convenient volume-control switch lets you decide just how loud Spidey sings!

Thank god, we wouldn't want to wake up the neighbors. So, is the slogan, "With great power comes great boogying ability?"

Over at The Beat, Heidi notes a rundown at Radar of the 10 most dangerous toys of all time. Child safety hasn't always been a top priority of toy manufacturers--Irving Mainway often wasn't that much of a stretch. I've got direct experience with only two of the toys on this list. We didn't actually have Jarts, which are the top dangerous toys on this list (and probably on any other such list, as well), but plenty of other families in the neighborhood did, so we had lots of time to play with them. Obviously, you were never actually supposed to throw them at anybody, but it's not too hard to figure out how you could have an accident.

Another toy I had a lot of fun with when I was six or seven was the Thingmaker. You poured various colors of plastigoop into molds, cooked them, and then had rubbery, plasticy spiders, lizards, evil eyes, scars, and various other fun shapes. I guess the main problem with this toy was the cooking part. The molds were heated on an open hot plate that, according to Radar, could heat to 310 degrees. I'm really not sure what the problem was--the toy had a warning not to touch it. And you could certainly tell it was hot. It only takes a six-year-old a couple of burned fingers to realize they need to be careful.

Although Jarts are certainly the most dangerous, the most dangerous and unlikely toy on the list is the U-238 Atomic Energy Lab. According to the box, it included "safe radioactive materials--Alpha source in handy container and Uranium Ore." And in addition to the radioactivity, it also promised the "Spinthariscope," which "shows exploding atoms." At $49.50 in 1951, this seems immensely expensive, so it's not a huge surprise that it was only on the market for one year. But maybe if they could have just found a different way to market it--get Irving Mainway on the phone!